


Uniform Confussion

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Minor Spock/Nyota Uhura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 18:45:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8589568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: Jim just wanted to have some fun before he was stuck in a room with a bunch of dignitaries for a few hours. He didn't realize his fun would lead to some good opportunities to bug Bones





	

“Jim.” Leonard’s protests are half-hearted, and he only shoves at the other man’s shoulders enough to get him to move on from kissing him chin to trailing his way down his neck. “Jim, we need to be at the mess hall in ten minutes.”

“Mmmhmmm.” The captain hummed, not bothering to forgo his current objective of kissing Leonard into submission to give him a proper answer. The mess hall could wait, and it wasn’t like all of those dignitaries really needed to see him there immediately. Spock could take care of anyone with questions and Nyota was probably going to keep them busy by talking to them in their own languages. If things got really bad there was always Scotty and his amazing ability to talk about the Enterprise for an hour straight without stopping. Jim could be a little late, especially if it meant actually managing to convince Bones to take his damn pants off.

“It’s not happening.” Behind the stern tone in the doctor's voice, Jim could hear amusement. Of course he knew what Jim was thinking, he always knew what he was thinking. “I know for a fact that there is at least one admiral on the ship, and i know you would hate to make a bad impression on starfleet brass.”

“What if I say I don’t care?” He glanced up at the older man, chuckling when Bones responded with a raised eyebrow.

 

“The day you don’t care about something to do with Starfleet, is the day that I take a shuttle without at least two whiskeys in me.” He chuckled again, always amused by Bones’ inability to take a simple shuttle somewhere without alcohol in his system.

 

Shoving himself up, Jim sat down on Bones’ waist and smiled down at the other man, watching as he propped himself up on his elbows and beamed up at him with one of his special smiles. This one told Jim that if he was good and managed to go to the conference without trying to take Leonard’s pants off again, he would get his wish to see the doctor naked and so much more when they were released from mandatory ‘make nice to the dignitaries’ duty. He loved this smile almost as much as the ‘I love you but i’m still going to kill you when you get back’ one.

 

“Fine…” he threw his hands up in the air in a show of annoyance. A show that he knew Bones wasn’t falling for. "But I’m going to miss seeing you in the black shirt of sexy. I think it should be your regular uniform.”

 

“It is my regular uniform, under the blue one.” Jim reached out and smacked his boyfriend in the shoulder, laughing when Bones sat up quickly and pulled him down into a hard and hot kiss. A kiss that sent Jim’s mind spinning into the gutter, not that it ever managed to make it that far out of the damn thing, especially when Bones was looking so pretty and ready to fuck. The only thing that pulled the two of them away from the delicious taste of each other's kiss was the unwelcome beep of the communications council.

 

“Spock to the Captain.” Spock’s voice broke through the silence of Bones’ room, forcing the two of them apart so that Jim could lean over and press the button to respond.

 

“What is it, Spock?” He tried not to let the annoyance drip through his words, he really did, but Spock had just interrupted a very personal moment. He never did that to him and Nyota, at least not as far as he knew. The two of them probably wouldn’t tell him if he had.

 

“Admiral Marcus is requesting your presence immediately in the mess hall.” he could practically hear Bones rolling his eyes at the mention of Marcus. Bones never did like the guy that much, and Kirk could understand why. The last time the two of them had been in the same room, Marcus had suggested militarizing the medical program of Starfleet and...well, Bones didn’t take that well at all. “Shall I inform him that you are...occupied.”

 

   “No!” Bones glared up at him, watching as a smile crept up on his face. “I do not want that knowledge in Spock’s head. Don’t you dare.”

   “You’re no fun, Bones.” He smiled back at him, leaning down to steal a quick kiss before pressing the response button again “I’ll be right there, Spock. Keep my seat warm.”

 

   After that there was no answer, and the two of them could only assume that Spock was trying to contemplate what in the world Jim had meant. After all, it wasn’t like any of them would be sitting for the next few hours.

 

  “Hey,” Bones reached out and grabbed hold of Jim’s elbow, stopping him as he started to get off of the bed. “I’m not done with you yet.”

 

   “You’re the one who said that we couldn’t be late.” Smirking back down at the other man, Jim watched as he contemplated his options for a moment before bringing his free hand up to the back of Jim’s neck and pulling him down into another hard kiss.

 

  “I changed my mind,” he declared between kisses, using his position to turn the both of them over and lay Jim back against the bed. “Admiral Marcus can wait.”

 

      “I love it when you get rebellious.” In return for his comment, Jim got a flick to the ear and a trail of kisses down his neck while Bones did his best to separate him from his pants, thankful that Jim had already taken off his regular uniform shirt in favour of putting on his dress uniform before he had decided to assault Bones.

 

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Making his way down the hallways of the ship, Jim fixed the sleeves on his dress shirt and grumbled under his breath. He was going to have to see a tailor about the extra arm space that he seemed to suddenly have. Either that or he was going to have to go work out a lot more.

“Captain!” Nyota’s cheerful voice carried through the hallway, drawing his attention towards the door to the mess hall where she stood waiting for him with an impossibly large grin on her face. “Admiral Marcus is inside waiting for you. Where is Doctor McCoy?”

 

“Fixing his hair.” Jim smirked devilishly, thinking back to the way that he had run his fingers through Bones’ hair and done everything possible to mess it up while the other man had been busy giving him the best blow job ever. “You know how he is, he has to look perfectly pretty before he finds a corner to hide in and avoid all conversation.”

 

“We wouldn’t have him any other way, sir.” Her voice seemed to crack at the last word, almost as if she was holding in her laughter. Jim figured she was probably imagining all the ways that he and Bones had gotten themselves into trouble instead of being on time for the conference. That was OK. It was probably nothing more exciting that the things she and Spock got up to (and really, he continued to promise himself to this day that he would never enter either of their rooms without knocking first again. None of them needed that.)

 

   Nodding his head, Jim smiled softly and headed into the mess hall, still tugging at the extra length of his dress uniform as he made his way over to where Spock and Admiral Marcus were standing and chatting with Sarek. If Jim didn’t know his first officer better, he would assume that he looked like he was almost suffering. It wouldn’t surprise him if he was though, since Sarek had about as much love in his heart for Admiral Marcus as Leonard did (in other words, none at all). It was bound to be an awkward and tense conversation.

 

He could tell the second that Spock had spotted him, if not for the way that his mouth twitched up into a tiny smile before returning to the regular unemotional look that Spock kept, then the way that his eyebrow arched up in confusion. Obviously Spock had also noticed the extra fabric on his uniform and was probably already trying to figure out a workout routine that would ensure that Jim became bulkier, if he survived the bastard’s idea of a workout.

 

“Captain,” It was Admiral Marcus who spoke first, turning to face him when he noticed him making his way over. Almost as soon as he had turned to face him, however, the Admiral's eyes went wide and his jaw fell open. OK, Maybe Jim had missed something when he cleaned up before getting dressed? Was his hair sticking up on end? Bones always told him to try and keep the damn bed-head tamed, and he really did...at least, when there were people on the ship to judge him. no, it had to be a lot worse than bed head to get such a horrified look out of the Admiral.

 

“Jim!” He turned around in his spot, smiling brightly at the sound of the doctor’s voice, though he couldn’t really understand why there was panic in his….oh…

 

Jim’s face went white as he looked at Bones, standing there in his dark black shirt of sexy with a golden bundle of dress shirt in his hand and a look that sat somewhere between utter panic and laughing his ass off at Marcus’ reaction.   

 

“So….” Nyota smiled, walking up beside Bones and crossing her arms over her chest proudly. Jim didn’t know whether to yell at her for not warning him, or to hug her for being a little shit that he was so damn proud of right now. “Should we start calling you Doctor Kirk?”

 

Slowly, Jim looked down at the dress uniform he was wearing. The bright blue fabric beamed at him, almost as if the damn thing was taunting him for not paying enough attention when he had gotten dressed.

 

“So long as Captain McCoy is up to his new duties.” Glancing back at his first officer, Jim felt his eyes go wide and a snort escaping his throat at the sound of what was essentially the best Spock could do at a good joke. He was definitely going to hug him when they weren't surrounded by dignitaries looking at them with wonder and confusion.

 

Bones, on the other hand, didn’t seem have the same appreciation for Spock’s joke, as was evident by the sudden appearance of his hands on the zipper of his dress uniform that Jim was still wearing. “You know, Bones, if you wanted to undress me we could have stayed in your room.” The doctor glared at him, turning him around in his spot forcibly once the zipper was undone and practically ripping his dress uniform off of Jim before shoving the bright gold Captain’s uniform into his hands.

 

“I hate you.” He grumbled under his breath, pulling the blue uniform jacket over his shoulders gently and doing his best not to meet eyes with anyone around him. Jim figured at this point he wasn’t even going to get the standard ten minutes of conversation in, but was going to opt for finding a dark corner to hide in as soon as possible if everyone else in the room allowed him to.

 

“Awww Bones….” Smiling, Jim leaned forward and kissed the Doctor on the nose playfully, watching as he crinkled it in response and frowned at him. “I love you too, hon.”

 

 “Captain,” Finally Jim turned his attention to Admiral Marcus, pulling his dress uniform on as he smiled brightly at the other man. He wasn’t going to let the grumpy admiral ruin what was essentially the most adorable mix-up of his life, after all. “If you’re done playing house, the Andorian dignitary would like to meet you.”

 

“Yes sir.” He smiled, doing up his uniform and turning to steal a quick kiss from Leonard while the doctor sputtered in protest. “Spock, you’re on doctor/puppy watching duty. Make sure he doesn’t break anything and keep him out of the treats.”

 

Leonard huffed in response, forever unamused by the ridiculous way that Jim treated him for being antisocial and introverted. Beside him, Nyota slapped her hands over her mouth and giggled. She would probably never get over how adorable the two of them were, and would argue that the only couple more adorable was her and Spock. Jim had to disagree, because as much as he loved Spock, the man was about as adorable as a brick wall.

  
“I will endeavor to make sure he doesn’t bite anyone’s ankles, Captain.” Sarek, Admiral Marcus, and Jim all turned to Spock with a surprised look on their faces. Leonard and Nyota in turn let their jaws drop open at the joke. Maybe there was hope for the Vulcan after all. Jim would have to find out after he met the Andorian dignitary and whoever else Admiral Marcus could drag him to. Maybe even after he repaid Bones for that blow job ten-fold. After all, the poor man looked like he was going to faint from embarrassment. Jim owed him at least 3 blow jobs for that alone.


End file.
